All The More Reason

Comment ca va?

Doctors’ Weekly  has asked each of the French presidential candidates to describe their state of health. 

Those results in full, starting with the most degenerate:

 Jean-Marie Le Pen:

–   Fair enough, he’s 79. Le Pen has ‘has been treated with radiotherapy for prostate cancer’ and ‘has a false hip’. Will he stumble in the first round?

 Dominique Voynet:

Voynet, the Green candidate, confesses to ‘drinking too much coffee’. Not sure whether this denotes too much energy, or too little.

 Francois Bayrou:

– The peche mortel of the UDF’s son-of-the-soil is ‘eating too much fruit’. I’m not sure that this is exactly pathological. If he ducks this simple question, how is he going to stop France turning into a banana republic? 

Bove, Buffet, Laguiller and Besancenot judged the question ‘too personal’, as did front-runner, Segolene Royal.

Howeverfortunately, Nicolas Sarkozy‘s spokesperson was at hand to give readers the following facts :

– Sarko has ‘an uncontrolled passion for chocolate’.

– He enjoys ‘le jogging’

The UMP candidate also has what his spokesperson describes as, ‘extraordinarily well-channeled energy’. Whatever that means.

Unfortunately for Sarkozy, the journal had also done its own research, noting that he has previously complained of migraines (or, to quote the rather more eloquent French, ‘son caractere migraineux’). ‘Migraine sufferers’, the journal stone-facedly informs its readers, ‘are four or five times more likely to suffer from mental disorders, including psychosis, than non-sufferers’

Michael P


3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I’ve heard that Sarkozy is a non–drinker. I believe tha French call that “le caractere sobre”.

Comment by J.S.

I just learned the origins of this expression “Comment ça va”. It originally meant to ask how one’s digestive system and bowel movements were.


Comment by J.S.

nice work, bro

Comment by Hughyw

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